Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
ComeBackNeilLennon 29 day.agoA Man Plans To Cheat On His Wife…So he takes this woman out for dinner, shows her a good night: a steak meal, sharing a dessert, lots of expensive wine. And then after that he takes her to his car, and they park in a secluded spot and he’s just about to go and make love to her on the back seats… when suddenly, he bottles it, he realises he loves his wife too much and he couldn’t possibly ever bring himself to properly cheat on her. But, not wanted to leave the woman he took out for dinner disappointed he phones his best friend and asks if he will come and help him out. So his best friend comes over from his house, climbs into the back of the car and says to the woman ‘ hi there, unfortunately my friend had to leave but I’m here now and if you wish, I can still make love to you just as good as he would have’ At this moment, a police officer is walking past and gets suspicious of the scene so he walks over and shines his torch in the car and says to the pair ‘Excuse me, are you two alright in here? Is this man bothering you Miss?’ And the man, thinking on his feet says, ‘no no officer you’ve got the wrong idea… this woman is actually my wife’ And the officer says ‘ah I’m very sorry, I didn’t realise she was your wife’ And the man says ‘In all fairness, until you switched on your torch; neither did I!’
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Looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady, it was only when she drove me to her place and reversed the car into the garage I thought, " Hang on a fucking minute"
See-Four
Get pulled over, the cop tells them " I'm sorry to bother you but we're looking for two child molesters" the priests look at each other, talk for a minute and say " ok we'll do it"
He was caught drinking on the job!
Because they have to.
Nobody should ever be subjected to country music.
Afterwards the doctor comes in and tells them, "I have good news and bad news." Concerned, they ask for the bad news first. He tells them that the baby is a ginger. The parents say, "Well I guess we can learn to live with a ginger baby. It might not be so bad. What's the good news?" "It's dead!"
He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken
Then itll never come for me
So blind people could hate them too
Every time I hit a speed bump, I tell her it was a dog...
Break her fingers, so she can't tell anyone
His family are said to be shaken but not stirred.
Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth.
Because he can't do stand up
The man's. Why was he driving in the kitchen?
Cause they have to.
Are You Tighter Than a Fifth Grader?
Cervical cancer
Because there are targets on every corner.
One, if it is a man.
Look for the cardboard sign.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That's the best I've done so far.
Most of the german genocides can be swept under the carpet
She started her period. Edit: This joke courtesy of the homeless guy outside the 7-11. I tipped him a beer.
The whites are usually pretty useless
The Nazi
When you dump a load in the washer, It will not follow you around for two months.
It got a million stars.
Go ahead, call the police, we'll see who comes first.
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